DEATH TO BARNEY AND ALL OTHER KID SHOW CHARACTERS
by Chunkysoup1
Summary: My fantasy of finally getting around to killin all those stupid characters
1. Default Chapter

  
  
  
Killing Barney and other Kid Show characters  
  
  
One sunny day down the NJ shore in the summer, I woke up and went upstairs to the kitchen around 7:00 to find Barney the big, fat, Fuckin retarted dino looking through my food. I said " Get your A$$ out of my Fridge!" He said " Go away!" "You better watch out for something hot!" I said.  
  
I took out a lighter, put it against my A$$ and farted sending barney in flames going off the deck onto the beach. Elmo came over and said "You killed my best friend! ELmo will kill you!" " Oh yea, well im gonna tickle you the wrong way!" I pulled out and Ak-47 machine gun and blowed him away making more red stuff come out of him if you know what i mean. Big bird and Arthur came over and said " WHYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!" I said loudly " Im gonna rip you two new ass holes." I pulled out a chainsaw from the garage and ripped them a new one.  
  
Then suddenly all of the other kid show characters surround me and pull out big badda$$ weapons. I am out of ammo so I run as fast as I can to the beach. I get out there and steal a surfboard from this dude who got eaten by a shark. They all fire but the surfboard is a shield until they run out of ammo. I call my friends on my cell phone to come and drop bombs on them. After it was all said and done they all came over to me and said " How did you get into this mess?!" I exclaimed " Its a long story, but its all about takin out the trash!"  
  
THE END... or is it?????  



	2. Elmo's Resurrection

  
ELMOS RESURRECTION!!!!!!  
  
Part 1: AGAIN!!!???  
  
CHRISTMAS EVE 2001. Place: Somewhere in Pennsylvania. TIME: 5:00 PM.  
  
Well it is Christmas eve and Im getting an XBOX for Christmas. I sit down with my family near the tv set and watch some Christmas movies like How the Grinch Stole Christmas and stuff. It started to snow. My cat came up to me and purred. It was a great day. Anyway, we were going to a church service soon so we got ready. But all of a sudden, ELMO CAME IN THE DOOR WITH AN AXE! I said " WHAT THE F**K!?" Elmo exclaimed " HAHA, I came back to life with the help of 1 surviving kid show character, BARNEY!" " I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM AND YOU!?" I said. My family went ot the neigbors to get help. I got real mad and shoved his head up his Ass. He died of the smell. We had a nice Christmas afterwards.  
  
PART 2: CAR CRASH  
April 29th, 2002. PLACE: Grandmoms house TIMES: 10:00 PM  
  
I was over my grandparents for dinner and trivia with my family, cousins, and my aunt and uncle. I got some fresh air by going outside. I saw a car going down the street going 80 MPH. I said " This guy must be a F**KIN luncatic!" The car crashed and I went over to check out if the driver was ok. The driver was ELMO!! "HAHAHA IM BACKKKKKK!!!!!" elmo said loudly. "YOUR STILL NOT DEAD YOU D*CKHEAD?" I said. Now I got a weapon so I can kill you!" "NOOOO!" I screamed. Luckily this dude across the street had a hunting rifle and shot him. I said "THANX DUDE. I owe ya one!" Then he says "Dont mention it!"  
  
PART 3: THE FINAL EPISODE!!!  
July 22, 2002. PLACE: NJ Shore TIME: 7:00 AM  
  
I woke up from the beach house I was staying at. It was the same one my family and I stayed at last year .My family went fishing wile I stayed at home. I woke up to a beautiful sunny day. Then there was a phone call. I answered it. It was ELMO AND BARNEY!!! ThEY SAID " Were comin to get you!" Then the phone went silent and then the busy signal came and said " IF you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again." They hung up on me. "OH SH*T!" I said. I heard a knock at the door. I was scared to open it but ELMO AND BARNEY broke it down. I ran upstairs and got a knife. They wore loads of machine guns. I shouted " I went to hell and back to kill you guys! Ive been breacking my ass trying to kill you the past year. NOW ITS TIME YOU GUYS GO DOWN! FOR GOOD! or I will die trying!" I threw the knife a barney and he jumped onto the wall and walked on it like that dude did in the matrix. I ran to the boardwalk for help but none of the stores were open! Then, all of my friends were taking a vacation and they were on the beach swimming. I went up to everybody and they looked at me and I said "BARNEY IS TRYING TO KILL ME AGAIN. IM SERIOUS!" They said "Where is he?" I said over on the boardwalk. They looked and pulled out ak-47s and gave me one so I can kill ELMO AND BARNEY. I finished them off with putting a lighter up to my ass and farting on barney. We looked at Barney and Elmo turning into ash. But then Bear from BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE held my friends and said he was gonna do something bad to them. I said " HEY! ISnt that your big blue house being burnt down!??" He said "WHERE?" He turned over and I punched him in the nuts. He fell over into the fire and burned. Them guys shaked my hands while lots of girls were kissing me ON THE LIPS AND MOUTH TO MOUTH. THEY ALL CAME UP TO ME AGAIN AND SAID "Why did Barney and ELmo resurrect?" I said " I dont know.But I said it once and Ill say it again, its all about takin out the trash."  
END  
  
  
  
COMING SOON...   
ELMO's RESURRECTION 2!  
  
And this time... its not just taking out the trash. ITS A WHOLE LOT MORE! 


	3. Elmo's Resurrection 2

CHAPTER 3:ELMO's Resurrection 2  
  
Part 1: Date: December 20th,2002 Place: Home. Time: 9:00 PM  
  
I am now famous for killing barney and Elmo who were actually trying to take over the world the last time I killed them which was in July. I starred in action movies and I am chased by a lot of teen girls but I already have a girlfriend though. I live in a big mansion and have lots of things including money, fame, and a 7up filled pool. One day it gets kinda lonely so my girlfriend and I go out on a date. I watch the news before I leave and see that someone is trying to take over the world again. It was Barney and Elmo!! "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed. "What is wrong?" my girlfriend said. "Can we reschedule our dat for tomorrow. She said "OK." I went to the president's oval office and he said I had to do some spy work. Bush said "Barney and Elmo are taking over a power plant and say if they dont get 200 billion dollars by sunrise tomorrow, they will cause a meltdown. We need you to stop them. Guards are other kid show characters including Arthur and Big Bird. U got that?" "Yes sir" i said to him. "A chopper will take you to that plant in an hour. Get ready." he said.  
  
  
Part 2: Date December 21,2002. Place: Nuclear Power Plant. Time: 3:30 AM  
  
While in the chopper, I think about my girlfriend and think "What if I went out with her last night?" But then the chopper got to the plant and I took off with a parachute onto the ground. I look around and see big bird guarding the place. There was a tv next to him. He was watching the Sesame Street Christmas special. I went up behind him and snapped his neck. I shot the tv with my silenced pistol. I put my radiation suit on and went inside and saw Bear from Bear and the Big Blue house making out with oscar the grouch. I said softly "Yo you two, get a room!" Then I raised my voice a little and said "IN HELL!" I shot them with my pistol.   
  
Part 3: December 21,2002. Place: Nuclear Power Plant. Time: 5:00 AM  
  
I finally saw Elmo and Barney controlling the plant. THEY HAD MADE OVER 30 ROBOTS OF THEMSELVES. Barney and Elmo saw me and said "Robots! Get Him" I looked over and they were heading towards me. I screamed "Oh SHIT!!!" I took out my shotgun and tried to shoot them but they would fall down. I said "Wait I know!" I put a lighter up to my Ass aand farted and the robots went up in flames. They fire sprinklers put the fire on them out but that would also make the robots blow up because they were electronic. Barney and Elmo said "That is it. The deadline is now!" I looked over to the window and the sun came up and I screamed "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" Elmo and Barney together pushed the button to start the meltdown. "10..9..8..7..6..5..4.." I ran to the abort button and right when it said "2..1" i slammed it and it aborted. They ran outside to a helipad and they had a helicoper and tried to get away. I grabbed the gascap and the gas started to leak. They said "We will be back kids! SOON! huhuh!" I didnt have any lighter fluid left in my lighter but luckily I had a match left so I lighted it and said "Yippie Ki Yay Motha FUCKA!!" I threw the match into the gas tank and ran away ASAP. It blew up and I hoped that would be the last time I would see em.  
  
  
Part 4: Date: December 24th,2002. Place: Back Home. Time 9:00 PM  
  
It was all over and the Prez thanked me for my effort. I went home and my girlfriend cried because she though I would die. I went over to her and said " I try my best to stay alive. You know what makes me want to stay alive?" "What?" she said. I said "Thinking of you." She came over to me and we made out.  
End 


End file.
